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Never Neglect the Needs.

Why aren't you thinking before you talk/act?

Do you consider how your actions (or lack of the proper actions and thoughts) affect your relationship?


When you are romantically involved with someone, who is more impacting when a decision must be made? Do you feel as if you are, or do you feel that your partner is? Maybe you have a seat on your nice, soft, velvet-covered couch, and brainstorm what you think your partner would say before a certain choice is made. No matter how you stroke your beard while in thought, or twirl your fingers in your hair trying to figure it out, know that you alone shouldn't have the final say if you are in a serious commitment. Let me be glass-level clear, when it comes to decisions that affect you and your partner in some way, you both should have some form of a say. That dear reader is NEED and not a want.


There are several cases where the lines between romantic needs and wants seem a bit blurred. Honestly speaking, every romantic commitment should have some form of boundaries, rules and regulations, wants and needs, and more placed on the table. The human heart requires comprehension on either side, male or female, and the needs and wants of both people must be understood (especially the needs). I shouldn't have to state that communication and comprehension are of the utmost importance in this regard.

So before we can handle the needs of romances we're involved in, let's attempt to pinpoint precisely what the needs actually are.

Photo Credit: @itsdresmith (right) & his wife @breannaaponte (left) - via Instagram

As far as the love languages go, all five of these are considered needs; physical touch (my highest need), quality time (immediately behind), words of affirmation (surely necessary), acts of service (of extreme importance), and receiving gifts (such a nice gesture). These needs are well known and documented, but there are other needs that people tend to neglect. For instance:


Being heard and seen as valuable.

Feeling desired/desirable (a need that many people do not consider, but should when it comes to their spouse)

Being able to contribute to minor/major choices (a want for some, but a need for others)

Establishing a friendship within the romance (for me and some others, this is of utmost importance)


In many cases...some of these things appear to be self-explanatory, but we've all endured romances that have proven that these needs aren't always commonly known. Knowing your partner is a need!! If you don't know your partner, then it will prove difficult to know precisely what they need. A zookeeper who has no knowledge of the zoo he works in, will find it difficult to tend to the animals within the cages & pens.


Do you understand your own needs?

Does your partner have a good idea of what they are?


Let's never forget...you matter and they matter! You need to remember that.


- Sincerely,

El Caballero (the gentleman) named,

Jose

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