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Is Being Third For the Birds?

I know something about the dating scene that most people definitely hate! The worst part is knowing that you're gonna be sitting in a spot, being observant of your surroundings, while your friend and their date get all...mushy! You don't want to be there, or maybe you do. The circumstances differ depending on how the situations begin, but I am talking about the dreaded...

Third wheel!



Photo credit: Deposit Photos via Google

This spot can be reserved for the birds. You know those days when you take your woman on a date, and you both choose to sit outside? You'll look at the space decorated and well placed; tables and chairs are properly set up, with maybe a centerpiece bowl with small candies, candles, or flowers. You have a seat and begin talking, and then a bird lands on a wire or tree nearby. You think to yourself, "look at the adorable hummingbird joining us." Yeah...you're not a bird! How did you end up sitting next to your friend, while he/she is on a date with someone who they're obviously enamored with? If they get any closer to each other, you'll have to start considering buying diapers in several months. I don't always want to see all that! Being the third wheel can truly make you feel like you're unwanted (if you're single), or could ignite a sensual spark (if you're taken).


In a few cases, being the third wheel can be an intriguing learning experience.

In order for this to be true, your perspective of the third wheel position MUST BE connected to a desire to learn. Comprehension of some subject in dating must be readily craved, or there will be no effective desire to sit in that situation. I essentially dislike being a third wheel, but when I did willfully go on dates as one, there were key reasons why.


  1. I wanted to see how the couple interacted & gelled.

  2. I wanted to see what I would like to infuse into the next relationship I get involved in.

  3. I wanted to see what dating mistakes I should avoid.

  4. I wanted to enhance my ability to be observant of my surroundings while out on a date.

The negative lines in being a third wheel may (for some) be excruciating, and more dreadful than drinking sewer water on purpose. There is already a sense of being heavily undervalued, socially neglected, and DRASTICALLY unwanted in the minds of many. The third wheel perspective can be chaotic to a persons's self esteem! It all depends on how you view at the time that you're in it!


Your mind is where it is now because of your perspective of yourself, the choices you have made, and the knowledge of your worth, value, and identity. Be mindful of where you sit in any dating scenario, and act accordingly. That said, know that becoming a third wheel unintentionally (or by surprise) still warrants you the right to exit the scene. Don't ever do what you don't want to do. Life is too short for that!


This has been a message from your gentleman, love writer...

~ Jose V. Wright, Jr.


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